Articles by TeenChaos

I always wondered how trailer park bitches can afford to get boob jobs, while I have a hard time maintaining my booze habit. Well, I finally figured it out: the get into homemade porn like this slut did. Obviously, the title of this post kind of says it all…she’s got a bad boob job, a c-section scar and probably a nasty case of the clap. I was looking around for tampon strings and track marks, but wasn’t able to find any.

One of the more subtle pieces of hilarity in this film is the fact that the leather couch kind of looks like the ass of a fat black chick. Seriously, take a gander at it while it’s paused at the beginning. Classic!

I’m sorry, but when she says “Hey Alex, wait, your name is Alex? Hey Alex, can I impale your cock into my skull?”, I almost died laughing. So, in this video you porn aficionados get a little bit of everything. For one, there’s the humor aspect of it. Not only does the chick not know who she’s about to fuck, but the narrator sounds like Dana Carvey doing his George H. W. Bush impersonation. I kept waiting for him to say “Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.”

He never does, though.

Anyway, there’s also the teen aspect, as well as something for the guys that are into really big, really fake tits. So, enjoy!

Now, I know I told ya’ll that I’d take a break from the interracial porn for awhile (after all, it’s not even my particular cup of tea), but I came across this old-school gem and I couldn’t resist bringing it to you ASAP. Sure, I could have sat on it for a while, but I seriously couldn’t fucking resist. This porn has me under its spell of awesomeness, and I can’t help myself.

Anyway, here’s a foursome straight to you from the year 1975-ish. The cocks back then were HUGE! Also, it’s nice to see that cock sucking has come a long way in the last 30 years. Those chicks barely take in the head, much less anything else! If a chick blew me that way, all half-ass and stuff, I’d donkey punch her the next chance I got.

Let me tell you what I like about this video of Heather: everything. First of all, unlike a lot of the hot school girl pornos I’ve been posting lately, there isn’t any cheesy ass music playing in the background. Instead, we’re treated to the soundtrack of Heather here getting herself off. Niiiice.

Second, I have to say that I have a thing for girls who keep some of their clothes on during sex. Add to that that the clothes that she’s wearing include a hot plaid miniskirt, and my school girl fantasy is almost complete.

The last thing that I’ll point out is that she isn’t wearing a pair of those obnoxious stripper shoes that all skanks seem to stockpile. There isn’t a Part II to this, so this’ll have to do (I suppose there’s always rewind and replay). Next up, school girl lesbians wearing skirts! Woo Hoo!

Well, here it is. I know you’ve been waiting all day for it, and really, who am I to disappoint?

This one has her being triple penetrated by three huge black dicks. I’m not sure where the fourth dude went, but fear not, he comes back for the cum shot at the end. Like Part I, the guys in Part II make it a point to talk shit to her the entire time. The quote of the day comes from the guy taking her ass:

“Stop droppin’ that shit, yo. Stop droppin’ it. You know, I really don’t appreciate that, dawg!”

Okay, so that’s that. For some reason, the last month or so I’ve posted quite a bit of interracial porn, so I think I’m going to take a break from that for a while. As always, if you have any special requests, post them in the comments section and I’ll try to give you what you ask for.

This video, aptly titled “Juicy Teen Gets Four Black Cocks”, is the best thing I’ve seen since the bitch who called “1-800-Gangsta-Bang”. This hot teen really does take all four cocks, all the while the black dudes are talking mad shit to her. It’s seriously the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

Here are some of the choice phrases:

“You better marry her, son! You marry her, and we’ll all come by once a week and do this shit!”

“Bitch don’t stop sucking dick! You can suck my dick and still say that shit!”

“Let’s see how muthafuckin’ hoodrat you really are!”

I love it when they call her a hoodrat (because, you know, she obviously is. Who else besides a hoodrat would take on four ghetto-ass black guys at the same time?). Anyway, there’s a Part II to this video, where all of her holes are filled, the dudes are still talking shit and there’s even a little bukakke at the end. Mmmm…bukakke.

Well, shit. I bet that some of you have been wondering what the hell as been taking me so long to post Part II of Katana’s hot porno. It’s a funny story, actually. In addition to writing this blog, I also write for a celebrity gossip blog, called Celebrity231. As chance would have it, the page that I actually write the posts in is strikingly similar for both blogs, and I accidentally was posting my sexyhot porn clips on my tame celeb blog.

So, readers of my celeb blog have been visiting it, ready to catch up on what Angelina and Brad have been up to, and instead were treated to cum all over Katana’s face and tits. Whoops!

Anyway, here’s the video that I promised a few days ago (and delivered, just not to my TeenChaos readers).

I don’t know what is wrong with these porn producers and sound editing guys. The last porn I wrote about had this fucked up Beverly Hills 90210 sound to it, and I swear this video has one of the songs from Mario Kart Racing playing in the background. What do I have to do to get them to cut with the unnecessary sound effects?

Seriously, Katana’s moaning is much sexier than whatever number is played throughout the film. It sounds like the cock is so big, it’s almost hurting (but in that pleasurable pain sort of way, the very thought of which gives me a wicked boner).

Tomorrow, I’ll post Part II of the video (complete with gooey cumshot goodness).

Now, it’s going to be really hard to top the acrobatic awesomeness of the inverted tabletop executed in Part I of this Four-Way Fuck on the Beach video, it really is. One would think that the theme song toBeverly Hills 90210-ish ditty playing in the background would have gotten it all off to a bad start, but the sheer enthusiasm of the cock sucking more than makes up for it.

I mean, this dude is literally mouth fucking both of these ethnic beauties at once in a way that I’ve never seen before! Plus, the moaning, groaning and slurping nearly covers the terrible soundtrack.

That said, both Part I and Part II lose any and all bonus points for using condoms. Sure, safe sex is great, but I don’t want to see latex in my porn! (Well, maybe in some of them, but we won’t get into that just yet…

HELL YES!!! Now this is what I’m talking about. These two couples going at it on the beach is some of the hottest shit I’ve seen all week. In fact, I might even like this a little better than the two hot and sexy schoolgirls that I posted yesterday and the day before. Yeah, I said it. Group sex is hot!

The music is super cheesy (it’s porn, what else would you expect?), but other than that this is an A+ effort by all. I’ve never seen a position like that pulled off. In fact, I don’t think that even has a name. Hmmm…I’m thinking of calling it the “inverted tabletop”, although I’m open to other suggestions.

Tomorrow I’ll bring you Part II of this tour de awesome, so feel free to start getting excited in 3, 2, 1…