I’m sorry, but when she says “Hey Alex, wait, your name is Alex? Hey Alex, can I impale your cock into my skull?”, I almost died laughing. So, in this video you porn aficionados get a little bit of everything. For one, there’s the humor aspect of it. Not only does the chick not know who she’s about to fuck, but the narrator sounds like Dana Carvey doing his George H. W. Bush impersonation. I kept waiting for him to say “Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.”

He never does, though.

Anyway, there’s also the teen aspect, as well as something for the guys that are into really big, really fake tits. So, enjoy!

Let me tell you what I like about this video of Heather: everything. First of all, unlike a lot of the hot school girl pornos I’ve been posting lately, there isn’t any cheesy ass music playing in the background. Instead, we’re treated to the soundtrack of Heather here getting herself off. Niiiice.

Second, I have to say that I have a thing for girls who keep some of their clothes on during sex. Add to that that the clothes that she’s wearing include a hot plaid miniskirt, and my school girl fantasy is almost complete.

The last thing that I’ll point out is that she isn’t wearing a pair of those obnoxious stripper shoes that all skanks seem to stockpile. There isn’t a Part II to this, so this’ll have to do (I suppose there’s always rewind and replay). Next up, school girl lesbians wearing skirts! Woo Hoo!

Well, here it is. I know you’ve been waiting all day for it, and really, who am I to disappoint?

This one has her being triple penetrated by three huge black dicks. I’m not sure where the fourth dude went, but fear not, he comes back for the cum shot at the end. Like Part I, the guys in Part II make it a point to talk shit to her the entire time. The quote of the day comes from the guy taking her ass:

“Stop droppin’ that shit, yo. Stop droppin’ it. You know, I really don’t appreciate that, dawg!”

Okay, so that’s that. For some reason, the last month or so I’ve posted quite a bit of interracial porn, so I think I’m going to take a break from that for a while. As always, if you have any special requests, post them in the comments section and I’ll try to give you what you ask for.

This video, aptly titled “Juicy Teen Gets Four Black Cocks”, is the best thing I’ve seen since the bitch who called “1-800-Gangsta-Bang”. This hot teen really does take all four cocks, all the while the black dudes are talking mad shit to her. It’s seriously the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

Here are some of the choice phrases:

“You better marry her, son! You marry her, and we’ll all come by once a week and do this shit!”

“Bitch don’t stop sucking dick! You can suck my dick and still say that shit!”

“Let’s see how muthafuckin’ hoodrat you really are!”

I love it when they call her a hoodrat (because, you know, she obviously is. Who else besides a hoodrat would take on four ghetto-ass black guys at the same time?). Anyway, there’s a Part II to this video, where all of her holes are filled, the dudes are still talking shit and there’s even a little bukakke at the end. Mmmm…bukakke.

I don’t know what is wrong with these porn producers and sound editing guys. The last porn I wrote about had this fucked up Beverly Hills 90210 sound to it, and I swear this video has one of the songs from Mario Kart Racing playing in the background. What do I have to do to get them to cut with the unnecessary sound effects?

Seriously, Katana’s moaning is much sexier than whatever number is played throughout the film. It sounds like the cock is so big, it’s almost hurting (but in that pleasurable pain sort of way, the very thought of which gives me a wicked boner).

Tomorrow, I’ll post Part II of the video (complete with gooey cumshot goodness).

Now, it’s going to be really hard to top the acrobatic awesomeness of the inverted tabletop executed in Part I of this Four-Way Fuck on the Beach video, it really is. One would think that the theme song toBeverly Hills 90210-ish ditty playing in the background would have gotten it all off to a bad start, but the sheer enthusiasm of the cock sucking more than makes up for it.

I mean, this dude is literally mouth fucking both of these ethnic beauties at once in a way that I’ve never seen before! Plus, the moaning, groaning and slurping nearly covers the terrible soundtrack.

That said, both Part I and Part II lose any and all bonus points for using condoms. Sure, safe sex is great, but I don’t want to see latex in my porn! (Well, maybe in some of them, but we won’t get into that just yet…

Well, don’t ever say I don’t keep my promises. Here is Part II of the hot teenaged lesbian action that I posted yesterday, this one complete with muff diving. I’m telling you, these girls know what they’re doing, and I’m willing to bet $5 and a pack of baseball cards that they go at it off screen for free, just for fun.

I’m pretty sure I’m totally, completely in love with the dark haired vixen getting eaten out. I’m not all that into the spitting that the other one keeps doing (I’d like to think that her snizz is lubricated enough on its own), but it’s still a whack-worthy performance by them both and I’ll definitely keep an eye out for some more videos of these two.

I decided to post a video of two uberhot lesbians today to make up for the fact that I posted an atrocious film yesterday. (What’s that you say? You don’t think you’ll ever get an erection again? Me neither, join the club.)

Here, you’ll see Laura and Daria strip down to nothing and get to work doing what they do best: dyke it out. If that doesn’t cure your case of limp dick from my last post, nothing will. Also, after thoroughly grossing myself out with the previous video, I’ve decided to only post the sexiest stuff I can find for at least a week. Woo Hoo!

In this FULL LENGTH VIDEO (which you can thank me for posting by sending cash and presents to my office), a “hot, horny teen” seduces her best friend’s dad. You know the story: girl meets friend, girl meets friend’s dad, girl blows dirty old man in her friend’s room…the rest, as they say, is history.

In what can only be described as a cavalcade of disgusting awesome, we get to watch as the teen and the dad consummate their forbidden love for a full half hour. During that time, there’s some oral (both give/receive), boob fondling and actual sexystuff.

Now, I’d like to tell you what happens at the end (cum shot? Cream pie?), but I couldn’t make it through the whole thing. Literally, I started gagging and had to turn it off. Why, you ask? Well, there are several reasons.

1.) Her hair really, really grossed me out. I mean, come on! It’s not like the producers of the video sprung the porn shoot on her as a surprise! She knew she was going to be fucking on film, and she couldn’t even be bothered to wash her hair. In fact, I’m halfway convinced that she purposely didn’t shower for a week in advance, just to gross me out.

2.) Where did her outfit come from? The Salvation Army clearance bin?

3.) I’m 99 percent sure that the homeboy playing the role of Daddy was imported directly from 1982. Do you see his glasses? How am I supposed to beat off to an image like that? I mean, help me out here!

4.) Teen my ass! That bitch is no less than 35. Also, if that’s what passes for “horny”, I shudder to think of what she’s like when she’s turned off. A little enthusiasm can go a long way, and an eager cocksucker can even be forgiven for not bathing or wearing hot underwear.

5.) What really sealed the deal for me was when I started imagining what the movie would be like in Smell-O-Vision. Around 1/1,000 of a second later, I had the tab closed and was on my way to the nearest trash can.

I could go on and on, but I’ll refrain. Instead, I’ll leave it to you to enjoy. So, um…enjoy!

Seriously, how does one go about getting an application for this douche’s job? I mean, here you have Vanessa, one of the hottest unsung porn starlets I’ve seen in awhile, playing with her pussy and this tool bag is focusing in on her mouth?! What the fuck?!

Anyway, I’ve never posted a girl going at it by herself, so I decided to start with the best. I found a ton of Vanessa’s work online, so I’ll be posting more of it in the weeks to come (or is it cum? God, I’m so flippin’ witty!). Here, you see Vanessa in her native habitat: on the hood of a car with a big pink vibrating dildo. Mmmmm.